Having a miscarriage can be devastating. Your emotions might swing from shock to sadness to anger and back again before you’ve even had time to process what’s actually happened. Of course, there’s no “right” way to grieve your pregnancy. Everyone copes with their loss in their own unique way. And for Australian actress Claire Holt, who recently miscarried, the way she moved forward was by taking her own dilation and curettage procedure public.
“I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat,” Holt began her lengthy Instagram caption, which she posted on Sunday. “I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life.”
I took this photo 10 days ago, as I waited for surgery after my sweet little baby lost its heartbeat. I sent it to my fiancé in the waiting room to show him that I was ok. I wasn’t. I’ve never felt more broken in my life. I debated sharing this so soon and I’m still frightened about making such a private struggle public, but I’m doing it anyway because it’s important. After my D & C, I spent hours on the internet searching for women who had been through it. I was desperate to find someone, anyone, who could relate to what I was feeling. Someone to tell me that the depression and hopelessness were normal. That it wasn’t my fault. That I wasn’t broken forever. I found a community of women who shared my exact experience. Who were open and vulnerable about miscarriage, something that isn’t often or openly discussed. It breaks my heart to think that losing a baby feels like something we have to keep to ourselves. Why is it any different than the death of a loved one? How is it any less meaningful? Here is what I have learned as I begin to crawl out of the dark hole: support is everything. I could not have survived this without the unconditional love of my partner. Despite his pain, he was my rock and my safety net. I will never know how to thank him. I also found that opening up to people is crucial. As soon as I told my story, almost everyone I spoke to told me theirs – their own, their wife’s,…
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