Christmas isn’t just for children – sometimes, it’s also about being someone’s child

Tanya Sweeney: “I might get away with a non-Christmas or two in the coming years, but after that, I’ve been assured that the festive season becomes hard work.” Photograph: Nick Bradshaw
Tanya Sweeney: “I might get away with a non-Christmas or two in the coming years, but after that, I’ve been assured that the festive season becomes hard work.” Photograph: Nick Bradshaw

Of the jumble of memories from childhood, it’s the tinsel-covered ones that seem to stand out. There was the time I nearly broke my back when I cart-wheeled with excitement into a door frame (there was a brand new My Little Pony involved). There was the other time when I dived headlong into the Christmas tree, likely inspired by Tom and Jerry – a moment that resulted in my poor dad, clad only in his paisley Y-fronts, wrestling in vain with the fallen spruce. So much wrapping paper. So many cotton wool-topped nativity models. So many half-eaten carrots, mince pies and half-glasses of brandy carefully misarranged by the fireplace.

It was only years later that my parents told me about their own memories of Christmas Eve, as the servile engineers of this great Santa charade. One nip of brandy for Santa, three nips each for them. As it was the one night of the year that it was completely guaranteed that we’d stay put in bed, they’d even manage to hold parties with the neighbours, and we kids were none the wiser. The picture they took of ‘Santa’ one year tumbling out of the chimney was in fact Joe from five doors down. Keeping up the magic of Christmas was a ceaseless task, but they had their fun, too.

Now that I’m due to give birth in February, this is vitally important to know. I might get away with a non-Christmas or two in the coming years, but after that, I’ve been assured that the festive season becomes hard work. Hunting high and low for the year’s must-have toy. Santa’s grotto visits. Remembering to get gifts for teachers. All the adulting, all of the time.

Let’s pay homage to the one time of year where it’s acceptable to waft about in your house as though you’re a guest on a cruise ship, with added pyjamas

As this year’s Christmas will likely be Brie-free, alcohol-free and hangover-free, I’m already woefully nostalgic for a proper Adulty, Without Kids Christmas.

Let’s pay proper homage to the one time of year where it’s acceptable to waft about in your house as though you’re a guest on a cruise ship. A cruise ship,…

Mayra Rodriguez
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Mayra Rodriguez

Content Editor at oneQube
Work from home mom dedicated to my family. Total foodie trying new recipes.Love hunting for the best deals online. Wannabe style fashionista. As content editor, I get to do what I love everyday. Tweet, share and promote the best content our tools find on a daily basis.
Mayra Rodriguez
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