Struggling with body image after pregnancy is not unusual. What makes Jessica McCoy’s story unique is that she is struggling with postpartum body image after a pregnancy loss, meaning that each stretch mark or extra pound is a reminder of the baby who isn’t there.
The 27-year-old mother posted about the painful experience on Instagram, along with a photo of herself wearing jeans and a bra. The emotional caption describes the feeling of looking at her uncovered body in the mirror since her loss.
“Every day I get clothes on and they’re tight,” she wrote. “And every day I’m reminded that I grew my baby for six months and she died.”
”I’ve never seen anyone post about their feelings toward their body after pregnancy loss,” McCoy told The Huffington Post. “I’ve seen so many body positive posts by women celebrating their body because it grew their beautiful child. And I fully support that, but at this time, I don’t feel that. I feel anger toward my body. I feel like I can’t trust it. I feel broken. And every time I look in the mirror, or put clothes on, it’s a reminder that my sweet girl is gone.”
Already a mother to a 6-year-old and step-mother to a 10-year-old and a 12-year-old, McCoy says she’d had “baby fever” since her son was 2 and was excited when she and her husband got pregnant again on the first try.
And yet, McCoy had a “mother’s intuition” early in her pregnancy that something was wrong.
At around 20 weeks, McCoy and her husband found out from an ultrasound the the fetus had spina bifida, but they seemed to qualify for fetal surgery….
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