Divorce happens. In fact, it happens so often that there’s one every 36 seconds in the U.S. No matter the shape of your relationship or how gleeful you might be to not be in a marriage anymore, separating from your spouse is never easy. It comes with stress, self-doubt, and a lingering fear that your kids may resent you forever.
That fear is very understandable. Your kids are the people that you and your partner created and raised together. They are as affected by the divorce as you are, if not moreso. And after litigating the division of assets, settling into a co-parenting groove, and moving into the new place, you’ll likely realize that your relationship with your kids is… different. Sometimes it’s better. Sometimes it’s worse. Here, five divorced men talk about how their relationship with their kids changed after going through divorce.
Darryl Frost, Father of One
It’s interesting. He was young at the time — he was three to five years old when we were going through most of it. His mom was deployed to Afghanistan. I actually had just gotten back from Iraq. I was basically a single dad while she was in Afghanistan.
So, I was uniquely set up to be a single dad. I had a lot of responsibility. So my relationship with my son didn’t change that much. He also doesn’t really remember us being together. He has some memories. But most kids are very resilient, and he’s grown up with it. It hasn’t been a big issue.
Hodges Davis, Father of Five
I think in a lot of ways my kids and I became closer, because I became the de-facto custodial parent. The arrangement in my divorce was that I was going to pay all of the kids expenses. Because of that, every decision that required anything came through me. At that point, I didn’t have to ask anybody about the choices except my kids.
The second thing is, because I have five boys, they became closer with each other. And it was much easier for…