Saint Valentinus, for whom Valentine’s Day is named, wasn’t a hot lover or even a romantic. Records are fuzzy, but most agree he was a celibate priest who performed miracles. Divorced dads: Do you need a miracle to survive his holiday? Relax. Survival, even redemption, is attainable — and it’s not even that difficult.
The secret: practice small acts of kindness.
Stay with me here. Even if the thought is, er, less than palatable, don’t let that distract you. Focus on how being kind to others is actually the most selfish thing you can do – because it paves the way, gets rid of impediments, to the best possible enjoyment of your own new, happy post-divorce life. Here are some simple ways to do it:
Survival Tip No. 1: Send Flowers to Your Ex
If she’s the mother of your kids, that is. Why? Because a big part of your job as dad is to be a guru and a role model for your kids. So, show them that just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean you don’t still care for the woman who a) you were delighted to marry and in love with the day you got hitched, and b) is now and forever your co-parent and mom to your kids.
This story was submitted by a Fatherly reader. Opinions expressed in the story do not reflect the opinions of Fatherly as a publication. The fact that we’re printing the story does, however, reflect a belief that it is an interesting and worthwhile read.
Also, as the ancient saying says: “Happy ex-wife, happy life.” I don’t care how annoyed or enraged you feel, invest in reconnecting and demonstrating that you’re not carrying grudges. (And if you are, well, maybe sending flowers can be an important step to healing.) Sign the card from you and each kid. Maybe your ex will be suspicious, but whatever — she’ll still feel good.
And even if you don’t buy all that, it will make…
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