Divorce happens. In fact, it happens so often that there’s one every 36 seconds in the U.S. No matter the shape of your relationship or how gleeful you might be to not be in a marriage anymore, separating from your spouse is never easy. It comes with stress, self-doubt, and a lingering wonder and concern that you may not be doing the right thing.
That doubt is normal. After all, you’re deciding to end a relationship that you once thought would last forever. And after litigating the division of assets, settling into a co-parenting groove, and moving into the new place, you may be shocked to realize what “alone” feels like. But down the line, as wounds heal, you usually get some perspective and understand you made the right decision. Here, five divorced men talk about how (and why) they know that divorce was the right decision for them and their spouse. Even if it was a really tough one.
We Would’ve Just Kept On Ignoring The Big Issues
“The divorce wasn’t my doing. It was my ex-wife’s. In hindsight, I realized it was probably the best decision. When you’re in the middle of it, you don’t necessarily have the best perspective. But once we were going to the process of getting divorced, and once we were divorced, I could more clearly see that we had a lot of problems. We’d been together for 17 years. A few of those years were times when we had patched up things, but they had never been repaired fully. There’s that analogy: with house problems, you can have structural problems or you can have foundational problems, and structural problems are somewhat easier to fix, but foundation takes a lot more attention and time. I realized we had a lot of foundational problems that we didn’t really fix. So in the long run, it ended up being the best decision all around for all parties involved. If we had stayed with the status quo, we would have ignored the bigger problems.” — Johnny Olson, Father of One
I’d Exhausted All Our Options
“In my case, I tried everything short of divorce. We spent thousands and thousands of dollars on marriage counseling, individual counseling, rehab. I just reached a point where I felt like I wasn’t getting anything out of the relationship,…